Kitchen Fiction

I was introduced to a lady.

'Go on, tell her you write,' the introducer urged her.

'Yes, I do. I write,' she said.

'What kind of stuff?' I asked.

'You know, about relationships. Marriage. Stuff like that,' she said.

My first instinct was to take a hammer to her head. The second was to stifle a tsunami-style yawn. The third was to scream, enough of the kitchen sink drama! Give me some originality for gawd's sake!

It goes without saying that most writers' write out of their personal experience. If you're high-flying professional, the negotiations of office and industry politics will find some form of expression in your work. If you're a homemaker, unemployed or what have you, the politics of that environment will also find expression in your work. You write what you know because you write out of your reality.

The kitchen sink debate...
...has been going on for a long time. And it's not going to go away any time soon. A few years ago, I followed a debate in The Guardian on kitchen sink fiction. The debate featured quite well known male and female writers. The general consensus was this; the quality of the writing is what mattered, even if the book was 'kitchen sink drama.' Some writers had a few words to say about the term 'kitchen sink' arguing that it was pejorative and by default dismissive of women's fiction. I'm inclined to agree.

Having examined my gut reaction to the lady who wanted to write about marriage and relationships (domestic drama is, I believe, the industry term), I've come to the conclusion that I felt strongly about her work because I thought she was contributing to the women's writing=kitchen sink drama=bad writing=letting women down in the literary arena debate. And not in a positive way. But why should that be the case? The lady was a homemaker so it stood to reason that her creative writing would flow out of her personal situation. Was that so bad, and isn't that the point of writing anyway, its accessibility to all? And why do I equate domestic writing with bad writing?

Kitchen Sink Fiction (2)

Just because I'm a woman...
Many years ago, I was introduced to a man as a writer. The man asked me what I wrote. I shrugged and tried to change the subject. I don't like talking about myself - it's dull! Dull! Dull! Anyhoo, the guy paused, looked at me and said, 'Let me guess, you write romance, like Mills & Boon stuff?' I said 'no' and wandered off, fuming. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that all I can do or all I'm limited to is writing romance. The cheek of it...

I admit it. I was insulted. I equated romance writing with bad writing. In the years since, I've had good reason to rethink that position. Romance writing, just like any writing genre, has its own fill of good and bad. And to label all of them as bad because of a questionable sense of intellectual superiority is just crass. And even as I write this, I am well aware that there are many who equate Christian fiction as plain bad and nothing anyone will tell them will convince otherwise. This, despite the fact that nowadays, quality Christian fiction regularly tops the NYT bestseller list.

I've come a long way in my writing journey and I'm still learning. There are things that veterans in the business have told me about the craft of writing and the art of the storyteller that didn't make sense then but have in the last year or so suddenly made sense. Writing, like life, cannot be put in a box and told to follow the rules or else. It's meant to be fluid. To allow our imagination to soar. So what if it's kitchen sink drama? It's the delivery, the quality of the work that counts not the label - however belittling it is - that is attached to it.

Follow the debate:
Women's fiction and misery lit
Do female writers today lack imagination?
Women authors must drop domestic themes

An Author's Take on Seinfeld

I've had an interesting month and the only thing that's kept me sane, literally, is Seinfeld, or more specifically, George Constanza, a character in the comedy series.

For the uninitated, Seinfeld was/is the world's best comedy show. It's also famously, the show about nothing. Stuff does happen but because it's a show based on the ordinariness of life which in itself is made up of inconsequential everyday things, the storylines stay true to life. A famous episode was based on the entire cast waiting for a table in a Chinese restaurant. There are so many ways that particular episode could have gone wrong but it didn't. For instance, filming the entire episode in just one set; the waiting room. As any director will tell you, a change of scenery helps keep the audience tuned in otherwise they get bored. But not that episode. The central storyline was the process of waiting for a table in a restaurant, how demoralising it is and yet, they managed to fit in two other storylines with the waiting theme which worked like magic.

Yada, yada
Seinfeld works because it doesn't take itself too seriously. The gags are spot on, executed with pitch-perfect timing and delivered in that deadpan way that many have tried to emulate and failed. Spectacularly. The show has a cult following and you only have to watch one episode to understand why.

Everyone has their favourite Seinfeld character. My brother's is Kramer, the wired freak who lives opposite Jerry Seinfeld, the central character in the show. Kramer's character is high-energy. Everything he does takes on epicurean proportions. Kramer cannot walk into a room. He comes in like a whirlwind and devastation follows in his wake. He doesn't work but somehow gets by and no one quite figures out how.

And now for George Constanza.

All about George Constanza
First of all, he's tight-fisted. He's lazy. He tries but never quite manages to figure out a way to make money without working. He despises his parents - and with good reason, they're freaks. Somehow, he manages to land himself a fiancee who dies from licking too much envelope glue (she was going to send out their wedding invites) to his delight because he didn't want to marry her anyway. And he has many, many issues.

Oh yes, there are many reasons to despise George Constanza. However, Jason Alexander (the actor who plays him) plays him in such a way that he remains essentially vulnerable, human and endearing.

The short story I'm working on has a character called Baba and he was inspired by George Constanza. Baba is a man of no consequence. A loser with no sense of self nor dignity, he is aware of his failures and happy with his failed state of being. And then, one day, he has an idea. He is going to meet one of the most famous people in the world and make a difference to the lives of the people around him. It is an idea that is doomed to failure from the very beginning. Baba is an illiterate African and the person he's determined to meet is a Hollywood celebrity. How do he do it, if indeed, he does meet the celebrity?

Well, I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait for the short story to be published. In the meantime, pop down to Amazon and get the complete series of Seinfeld, now half price.

My Very Own Micro-Fiction Competition

I blogged about the Times micro-fiction competition a few days ago. In a bid to get away from working on my anthropology essay, I spent a few fun hours working on the following:

The conference dignitaries swilled wine and ate lobsters as they debated world poverty. B******* to that, the Ethiopian locals thought.

‘You don’t know who I am? I’m the most famous actress in Nollywood!’ ‘You don’t know who I am? I’m the most famous actress in Hollywood!’

Prove your love, I said. With a confident smile, he assembled the Top Gear memorabilia. I smiled when it went up in flames.

Today, she drank my coffee. Ditto yesterday. Lunchtime, she turned blue. I went to the kitchen and exchanged the coffee packet.

I have to say, I've really enjoyed working on them. It's a great way to loosen one's creativity and just play round with words. What about you, got any to add?

Book Revisions, Publishing Priorities and Thoughts On Anthropology

Jeffrey Archer's book, Kane and Abel is 30 years old. To celebrate this milestone (and the book's 83rd edition), Archer has, 'returned to the novel and substantially rewritten it.' A few of my author friends have done this; rewritten books released in their early writing days which are subsequently published to mark some milestone or the other.

I've been thinking a lot about my books. Kemi's Journal, was my first book. It will always have a special place in my heart and today, five or so years after its first release, I can sit back and honestly say that it's the one book I hope to rewrite.

Let me clarify. There is nothing wrong with the novel as it is now. It's just that a la Archer in the Telegraph article, with the benefit of experience in the writing game, there are some things I see in the book and think, you could've written that sooo much better.

I should stop faffing about and get back to my anthropology essay.

Say it loud, say it proud, 'I'm a commercial fiction writer!'
A few months ago, my latest book, Eyo, was doing the rounds in publishing houses around London. A well-esteemed editor told me she didn't think it was a literary book per se, more, commercial fiction. Till this day, I bless that editor for freeing me from the shackles of writing to please the literati.

There is nothing wrong with 'literary' works. Some of them cross over, gain popular appeal and become 'commercial' i.e. sell bucketloads and generate enough revenue to sink the Titanic for author and publisher. Some don't. They are published, get effusive praise from the literati and then sink without a trace - but not before selling 5 copies first. Which is something, I suppose.

Anyhoo, after reading the editor's comments, I made the decision to position myself purely as a commercial writer. In the words of John Grisham: 'For me, the essential component of fiction is plot. My objective is to get the reader to feel impelled to turn the pages as quickly as possible.' And that, for me, is the essence of quality commercial fiction; to compel the reader to turn the pages as quickly as possible. To deprive them of rest, of sleep until they get to the very last page and emerge from their experience emotionally wired and wild-eyed.

And while we're on this...
Rachelle Gardner, a literary agent for the Christian market recently had a call out on her blog. I looked at the list and thought to myself, none of the books I'm working on fits this list...

If ever I needed confirmation that I was done with the Christian fiction market, then, that, definitely, was it.

And now, I really must get back to my anthropology essay.

Tweeting Fiction

It's been a challenging month, but as long as there are books and I can write, all is well.

The Times recently ran a Twitter microfiction competition. With so many platforms and opportunities, it seems that we are in an age of creative explosion. Old paradigms are shifting and with it, traditional models of business, culture and entertainment. There was a time when we read from scrolls. Then we discovered the printing press and a brave new world of possibilities opened up. Suddenly, art, books and culture in general weren't just the preserve of the elite. Now, everyone had access to it. Four hundred or so years after, and the culture environment as we know it has changed. While some pundits believe that the physical book as we know it will be extinct in the near future, I don't believe that's the case. I do believe that people will have other ways of reading and accessing literature. For example, in Japan, there are mobile books. These are books written for consumption via mobile. We also have Amazon Kindle, Sony Reader, audio boooks and whatnot. Even the way we write stories will - and has - changed. That's probably why I was intrigued by the Times Twitter microfiction competition. If you can, check out the entries. Pure genius.

Short stories
Today, I'm finalising a short story I'm entering for a competition. All things being equal, it will form part of a book of short stories I'm working on. By the way, is it me or is the short story form enjoying a renaissance? John Grisham has released a book of short stories, Ford County, there's Chimamanda's collection and a whole host of other people I can't be bothered to link to.

Anyway, after working on my short story, I'll turn my attention to two essays I'm working on for my post-grad course. One is on religious anthropology and the other is on the Passion of Christ and its influence on modern day literature. It goes without saying that I'm looking forward to the latter.

On another note, I'm looking for someone to manage my Facebook fanclub account. To be honest, I don't even know if it still exists anymore because I deleted my personal Facebook account and I'm not sure but I think it was linked to my fan account and I really can't be bothered with all this because it's all so bloody boring but anyhoo, if you're interested, give me a shout and I'll lumber you with the project. And before I get snarky emails about people having more interesting things to do with their time than managing my fan page, for what it's worth, I totally agree. Heck, even I have better things to do with my time.

Sarah Ladipo Manyika in Nigeria

Cassava Republic Press is pleased to announce a new voice in Nigerian literature: Sarah Ladipo Manyika and her debut novel In Dependence. Sarah, a resident of California, is visiting Nigeria this November to promote her book, which will be available nationwide from December. Sarah spent much of her childhood in Jos, Plateau State, but has lived in Kenya, France, and England. She currently teaches literature at San Francisco State University.

About In Dependence
In early 1960s, Tayo Ajayi sails to England from Nigeria to take up a scholarship at Oxford University. As he leaves his mother warns him not to fall in love with English women. In this city of dreaming spires, he finds a generation high on visions of a new and better world. And it really does seem as if the whole world is ablaze with freedom movements. The post-independence fires are burning brightly back home in Nigeria, fuelled by the politics of Pan Africanism and financed by a fortuitous economic boom. On the other side of the Atlantic, the US Congress is about to pass the Civil Rights Act and Che Guevara is busy trying to export the Cuban Revolution. Meanwhile, across the West, the first tremors of the countercultural and sexual revolutions are about to be felt.

It is in this heady atmosphere that Tayo meets Vanessa Richardson, the beautiful daughter of an ex-colonial officer. In 1960s Britain, they face racism from passersby, Vanessa’s father and the police. Tayo also worries about his own family’s acceptance of Vanessa and whether she will be able to cope with life in Nigeria. Vanessa, on the other hand fantasises about returning to West Africa, where she spent her early childhood, with Tayo. Just as Tayo is about to propose, he receives a telegram which prompts his return to Nigeria. Once back in Nigeria, a military coup prevents him from returning to Vanessa. A few years later, when he decides to visit Vanessa again, he is arrested at the airport.

Readings:
Lagos
Venue: Quintessence, Falomo Shopping Centre, Awolowo Road, Ikoyi
Time: 4.00pm
Date: Sat 7th November 2009

Abuja
Venue: Pen & Pages
Time: 5.30pm
Date: Tues 10th November 2009
Address:
Plot 79, Ademola Adetokunbo Crescent, White House, Wuse 11

Giving Honour Where Honour's Due

A church organist has been honoured for striking the right chord for 70 years. The man is said by the town's mayor to be 'exceptionally honest, extremely polite [and] always wears a smile.'

I wonder, if asked, would the same be said of you?